“When your hat is upside down, the hat catches the rain. When your hat is rightside up, the rain catches the hat.”

“Now, look rookie… I know you don’t know what to do, but damnit look like it!”

“I have opinions of my own-strong opinions-but I don’t always agree with them.”

Mel: “I feel like if I drive right now, I’ll drive right over a cliff.”
Bubble Gum: “I feel like you do that anyway.”
(Talking about Mel always drives like she’s gonna kill herself)

“I’ve smoked more weed this semester than I’ve ever had in my life, drank less, and had the highest GPA of my college career.”

“If I kill over in Wal-Mart, drag my body over to Neimans.”

“Everybody cares about a piece of shit sometimes.”

“Sometimes Lady GaGa looks good. Sometimes she looks dead.”

J Chris and Adam: “If we don’t get any ass, you’re gonna get two MacBooks up your asshole.”
Me: “That’s gonna be an expensive asshole.”
Adamn: “You’re gonna wanna crackbook that.”

“Who is this mother fucker that crawled in my air mattress?!”
(When he slept on an air mattress at Kevbo’s house after a big party)